Stories

Test entry and a job.

8/24/24 Test entry i got a new job after 6 months of sporadic employment and door dashing near non stop finally i can get things back on track.

Park Visit

On 8/27/24, I realized that the job I thought I wanted wasn't what I had been told it would be, so I called back another job offer I had turned down midway through the hiring process to see if it was still possible to accept that one. Fortunately, it was still available, but for a different month. I took the offer with the promise to dedicate my full attention to it. After my drug test and physical, we visited a park in Homewood—it was huge! I would have loved a park like that when I was a kid. After the park, we got groceries and had lunch. It was a good day.

A Thought Of My Own

8/30/24, Never played MGS2 but i remember when it came out their was a display at my walmart store and it caught my eye. But i never bought it years later i hear about its story and man it makes me scared, 90% of what it says about what is real and what is unreal is starting to and prehaps has been leaking into the world for sometime now with the rise of AI something that i admit to useing to assist me with codeing far beyond my normal ablity, what is real and what is unreal becomes ever harder to disscern. Even the previous article i posted was spell and grammer checked by AI because i thought it would look better, but does it mean that that thought is no longer my own? it happned it was experienced by me but the retelling was filtered and sorted and corrected the human element revoked.

A New Job

9/4/24, Had my first day at the nurseing home galleria woods, its really nice the people are nice the job suits my tastes only thing i worry about is not makeing enough money, as it is a every other weekend job. It will be ok its the only thing i can do atm i have had such troubble finding work its crazy all my bills are beyond due but i cant do much more than what i all ready have yet i still feel that it will be ok.

Down but not out

9/7/24, Well their is a good chance i might loose internet for a while until i can catch my bills up and their is a 86% chance that i will most definatly loose my car. Majoris Bummer, as long as i can keep my job tho i may get lucky its been so hard the last few months keeping food would be impossiable without the help of my brother and food stamps. why life gotta be liek this? it was much better when i was a kid now every day feels like we are on the edge of destruction and that all this progress we worked so hard for will be lost i wonder how many times mankind has had to start over? anyway if i can keep my head straight and keep calm and work on the small things i can control it will be ok. Iam looking foward to next month its October witch means Halloween! i have allways loved that holiday and all the cool game events that come with it i cant wait to eat some candy and watch some spooky movies and im even going to decorate with the kids im thinking traditional halloween stuff pumpkins ect and maybe a hay ride! bonus its finally cooling down in alabama im hyped for that too. Summer was hecka rough and theirs no chance my allready beat to death window unit is gonna make it much longer so i will be replaceing that later in the next year too.

Hurricane

9/12/24,So their is a hurricane about weather is rough but has not reached peak levels of GTFO yet. In other news i have a little more time to pay my power bill and internet but have no clue what to do about the car, speaking of witch that bastard spare tire i been running finally blew forceing me to use the patched old tire its patch is holding for now but it still has a small leak small enought to cause it to loose about a pound of air every 6 hours not bad manageable but annoying. Anyway with luck ill be able to hold on a bit longer i still need to find a more steady job i like working at the nuresing home quite alot but the hours are not enough to cover my bills pluse while i can stay up all night to 12am - 8am it does take a toll my first night on the real job i had to pull over after my shift ended and sleep it was that or crash the bastard car. Well thats all for now if i dont post in a while it means my bastard money has ran out. prey for me my dudes.

World Class Feelings

9/22/24,So i found my old hard drive. Been pouring through it looking at my old work wondering why i gave up or stopped on some of it but also crying my eyes out when i came across pictures of my mom and how my family used to be. I also found an old journal that restored my memory of what happned in between the time i lost her and the time my dad lost me and my brother. Feels bad man i have been enjoying my new job but iam still under tremendous strain financially and have been letting that affect my relations a little bit. You just try to get by some days its all you can do i guess, i have mixed feeling's right now for what happened in the past and what is happening now. On a more positive note however iam trying to progress still aginst all odds im sure that as long as i draw breath as long as i keep stepping forward ill make it one day.

Softwarz

10/5/24,Still Alive Here, Thank god for grace caue without it i dont think i would have made it as far as i have, i know its going to be ok in the end. Anyways been working on writeing software personal software for things i want useing chat gpt to build the frame i describe then adding or takeing away or fixing on my own. It reall is a grate way to learn software im finding cause i get results and learn what not to do so far i have made: A media player like The Old WinXP PLayer Compleate With Skins, A Really Cool Ass Gif Maker That Takes In Vidoes And Lets You Cut Out Sections For Discord Gifs, A platformer prototype in godot its kinda like the game icytowers. Speaking Of Godot It up and decided to burn itself to in just a few days i was all ready haveing issues with its use of Globals and Calls not to metion it has alot of broken features and bugs, those might have gotten fixed if it did not decide to get so political that it combusted why must new open source software people all be the worse kind of actors? Oh well i can at least try and learn its source code and write the fixes i want and changes i want should i continue its use. I have really been considering writeing my own engine tried this a few times before but as i gain confidence back again thanks to chat gpt i think i can give it a proper go this time around.

Archive Not Found.

10/12/24, Fuck. Its Gone, The Internet Archive Is Gone.... For Now. I dont want to get into it but some dumb fucks took down the only free source of information still avaliable on the internet because they thought it was ran by the us goverment. Yeah right like the goverment gives out an archive of all the banned media or otherwise for free. Fucking stupid move.

Bad Smells

10/21/24, Fuck. Its Back????, The Internet Archive Is Back but someone pointed out to me that the whole attack time line does not add up. Almost like it was an inside job, you see they just lost a major copyright lawsuite and thats pretty much that but if their is no archive to pour through then their can be no legal issues. It Does Smell Bad Now that you Mention it. In Other News My Car Got Repoed....News At 11.

Teen Spirit

10/29/24, I don't know josh i was going to complain about current sitiuation which is fucked btw, but that seems redundant at this point. So No Complaints Theirs No Point Other Than Makeing My Self Feel Slightly Better, Anyway here is a .jpg of the cheat.

Once More But With Feeling.

11/10/24, Still no luck with job's or otherwise, however my kid did well at pageant this weekend so that was fun. They did not win first place but they titled i was super stoked had a good time chilling in the old style town community center this place was built some time before WW2 i think super old very comfortable wooden bench chairs Over all a good day i even won a crown in the raffle XD i feel so pretty.

Tippy Cup

11/19/24, I have found the best old style internet site still online and working! Victorianvoices.net It Is Gloryious!!! I plan On Makeing So Much Monty Python Style Art With This Thing! Monty Python Is What lead Me To Looking For Such A Source In The First Place. Finally Google Came Through For The First Time In 20 years!

Roach girl anime

12/4/24, today i found an anime about roach girls. proof you can make a story out of anythig if you try the roach girl anime was watchable and neat but i understand why their is only 2 episodes kinda can run that novel gag into the ground pretty fast its called Gokicha!! Cockroach Girls! if you want to watch here is the whole video embeded.

Sand

12/31/24, i wanted to make an effect of falling sand that solowly fills the screen and covers up my storyies i was going to delete them and start over in the new year, but i dont know if i want to do that or not. The effect looks ok chatGpt has been helping me create it im not versed in the maths required to figure it all out on my own in a resaonable enough time. So no i dont feel bad for AI assisting me and even teaching me things i dont know, new years eve is today its beena hell of a year bad and good the last week i have spent christmas and hanukkah with a sick kiddo so thats not been fun i pray next year brings us all the things we need and want and we live it to the fullest. Happy new year to anyone who reads this!

Playground Dreams

1/11/25,changed the sand effect with chatGPT i like the new version anyway. I went to sleep after meditation to preface this i learned this technique from the gateway tapes to achive a deep state of wakeing sleep where my body is asleep but my mind is awake i have so far been able to use it by first meditation then by simply laying down and sleeping with the intent still on my mind this has brought me many vivid dreams as of late. this time i was meditateing on gods forgiveness i was not trying to do anything other than understand the vastness of forgiveness and just how much god forgivess, i fell asleep where in i was taught during what i call my school sesssion where im seamingly guided to explore what ever it is that was on my mind before i went into deep theata. The exercise yielded me some greate insite into just how much we really do matter and that we are much much harder on our selfs than god ever is thats a short statement and does not do justice to the depth of the schooling i recevied when school is done however, we are put out to the playground this is a normal dream state that we are all used to most of us at one time or another have expierenced it some regurally dream others dream little the playground is a place for us to simply play out a desire or want or reprive we may need from the physical reality my playground time afterwards yielded two diffrent dreams one where i was playing a game simular to warcraft altho it was more life like as in i inhabited a body but still had gamey things like loot menues ect i played this game with my brother then after some time the dream shifted over to a dream where all my current physical needs were being met safty and security for my family that kind of thing i then woke up unhappy about that portion of play time ending. After i talked to my wife about why i woke up swareing witch i did i stated out loud that i was just haveing playground time after school witch prompted this whole post and my new term for learning while in a theata state.

deluxe pineapple

2/22/25,changed the sand effect i turned it off, anyway been workin geting things caught up and learning how to make music with flstudio got crypto phished allmost got me, better luck next time shitters.